


A Preference for Texting

by LostGirl



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Pre-Slash, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-10
Updated: 2012-03-10
Packaged: 2017-11-01 18:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,047
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/359785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostGirl/pseuds/LostGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock and John have some of their most important conversations while texting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Preference for Texting

**Author's Note:**

  * Translation into English available: [A Preference for Texting](https://archiveofourown.org/works/482737) by [Hanako_Hayashi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hanako_Hayashi/pseuds/Hanako_Hayashi)



> I love text fic. And I love Sherlock. It was only a matter of time. Anyway, I've used the -JW and -SH tags throughout the fic because, even though it makes no sense for them to use them when they're texting one another, it's the easiest way to mark who says what. Just consider them the text fic equivalent of dialogue tags, yeah?
> 
> Big *HUGE* thanks go to Swissmarg and Bethia for the beta and brit-picking magic!!

Where are you? –JW

Out. –SH

I kind of noticed that. –JW

Are you still sulking? –JW

I do not ‘sulk.’ –SH

Although I do still think you’re being absurd. –SH

Blood in the milk, Sherlock. That’s not okay. –JW

It was off anyway. –SH

It’s the image. –JW

And the principle. –JW

Pick up some new milk while you’re out? –JW

That’s what I’m doing. –SH

Really? –JW

No, John. I’m lying because I don’t think you’ll notice if I fail to bring milk back. –SH

That’s sarcasm, right? You are actually getting milk? –JW

Among other things. Do we eat strawberry jam? –SH

I do. You mostly ignore toast if I put it on. –JW

Right. –SH

Is it really necessary that there be so many flavors of everything? –SH

Well, normal people eat often enough that they like the variety. –JW

No, they don’t. People eat the same things over and over again. –SH

Okay. That’s mostly fair. –JW

But there are a lot of people and not everybody likes the same things. –JW

What do you like? –SH

You mean you haven’t been secretly cataloguing my every meal choice? –JW

John, I barely pay attention to what *I’m* eating. –SH

Yeah, but you like to have information stored away on other people. –JW

I like blackberry jam. Whole milk. Beans. Brown bread. We could use some more eggs, too. –JW

This is the dullest conversation I’ve ever participated in. –SH

So why are you still texting? –JW

Because you make shopping moderately less mind-numbing. –SH

It does. The conversation. –SH

John? –SH

Just trying to figure out whether that was a compliment or not. –JW

I think the teenager I just passed is planning to murder her parents. –SH

Really? Or are you just trying to make shopping more interesting? –JW

False alarm. She’s just fantasizing. No intention of carrying it out. –SH

Huh. If I thought you’d ever do this again, I’d go with you next time. –JW

Sounds much more interesting when you go. –JW

Shopping bores you, too? –SH

Of course it does. It’s not the most interesting activity. –JW

I’m just pretty keen on eating. –JW

And if we start shopping together we’ll never convince anyone we’re not a couple. –JW

Is that what couples do? –SH

Among other, much more interesting things. –JW

Ah. Yes. Sex. –SH

Not just sex! Though that is a personal favorite. –JW

So I’ve noticed. –SH

What’s that supposed to mean? –JW

Was that a crack about my dating habits? –JW

No. It was a crack about your masturbatory habits. –SH

John? –SH

I don’t want to know how you know. Okay? Never tell me. –JW

Damn. Now I’m going to be paranoid. –JW

It isn’t difficult to deduce. –SH

Which isn’t helping with the paranoia. –JW

You don’t seem to mind Mycroft’s cameras. –SH

Shit. –JW

I was joking, John. –SH

As if I’d put up with Mycroft’s spying. –SH

Don’t do that. Your brother creeps me out. –JW

To your credit. –SH

It goes to prove that, despite your wardrobe, you do have taste. –SH

Right. So insulting me is how you make shopping fun? –JW

That was a compliment. –SH

Mostly a compliment. –SH

You should practice more. –JW

What’s taking so long? Are you still shopping? –JW

On my way back now. –SH

**\-----**

Case solved. –SH

You might have waited until I got to the scene. –JW

No choice. You took too long. –SH

Not my fault someone decided to block traffic. –JW

Should I still meet you there? –JW

Yes. I need your assistance with something. –SH

Oh? What is it? –JW

Been arrested. Sort of. –SH

Lestrade says he’ll release me into your custody. –SH

What did you do? –JW

Punched Anderson. Unavoidable. –SH

What? Why? –JW

Because he has the intellectual capacity of a particularly dim paramecium. –SH

That’s why you punched him? –JW

No. That’s why it was unavoidable. –SH

Are you close? Handcuffs chafe. –SH

You’re handcuffed? –JW

Lestrade’s trying to prove a point. –SH

Maybe because you punched one of his team. –JW

What did Anderson do? –JW

He’s a moron. Do I need more reason? –SH

Yes. He was a moron two days ago and you didn’t punch him then. –JW

He’s been a moron since I’ve known him and you never punched him before. –JW

So, clearly, he’s getting worse. –SH

How are you texting in handcuffs? –JW

Quite well. –SH

Hands in front. –SH

Where are you? –SH

Almost there. I could tell the driver to make it slow, though. –JW

You wouldn’t. –SH

I might. If you’d done something really obnoxious lately. –JW

That woman called in the middle of an experiment, John. –SH

I’ve already explained that. –SH

Her *name* is Anna and she thinks you’re an arsehole. –JW

She won’t come over to the flat if you’re going to be there. –JW

She’s dull. –SH

How can you date someone so dull? –SH

She’s not dull. And you could try a little bit harder. –JW

Will it actually affect how quickly you get here? –SH

You know it won’t. –JW

It should, but it won’t. –JW

Lestrade texted me. Wants to know if I’m coming to get you. –JW

I told him you were on your way. –SH

He says you punched Anderson because he called me your pet. –JW

No. I punched Anderson because he deserved it. –SH

Moriarty called me that, too. –JW

He also deserved it. –SH

Yeah. But he had snipers. –JW

Unfortunately. -SH

Pulling up now. –JW

**\-----**

Bored. –SH

Still bored. –SH

Really very bored. –SH

Out of nicotine patches. –SH

And still quite bored. –SH

I’m on a date! –JW

And I’m bored. –SH

Yeah, I got that from the other texts. –JW

Find a way to entertain yourself. There’s that liver in the fridge. –JW

It’s charred. I’m bored. Bring patches. –SH

On. A. Date. –JW

Right. Anna. –SH

No, Kelly. Anna hates me now. –JW

Kelly’s not too fond either, at the moment. –JW

Right. Kelly. The narcissist. –SH

Yeah, because you’re the soul of selflessness. –JW

She’s also dull. And only dating you because you’re a doctor. –SH

Bored. –SH

Bored. –SH

You’ll have to do better with your passwords. –SH

Leave my laptop alone. –JW

Why do you care so much? –SH

Because it’s *mine.* It’s called privacy. –JW

I've already seen your pornography collection. -SH

And you write about your life and post it on a blog with a fairly wide readership. –SH

Those aren’t private. Those are meant to be read. –JW

Implying there’s something on here that’s not meant to be read? –SH

Leave it, Sherlock. –JW

I mean it. –JW

You’re writing a novel. –SH

Sherlock! Leave it alone! –JW

It’s not anything. I was just bored. –JW

It was a stupid idea. –JW

It’s actually not bad. –SH

Really? –JW

A bit overwrought, but no more so than any other crime novel. –SH

You have a way with description. –SH

You think so? –JW

Yes. I like how you describe London. –SH

And at least it’s not a thinly veiled depiction of your actual life. –SH

Wanted to write about something different. –JW

It is that. Your characters are interesting, but I think they still need some work. –SH

Sullivan reminds me of Lestrade a little. –SH

Why did you stop writing it there? –SH

Did you get stuck on where to go with the case? –SH

Damn. Kelly told me off. –JW

Didn’t even wait until after dinner. –JW

You *were* ignoring her. –SH

I was trying to deal with you! –JW

You think the characters are interesting? –JW

Yes. They definitely have potential. –SH

I did get stuck on the case. Wasn’t sure what should happen next. –JW

I could help, if you like. –SH

You’d do that? –JW

I figured it would bore you. –JW

It’s not anything, anyway. I just didn’t have anything else to write about. –JW

I’m a consulting detective. I consult. –SH

I have some old case files that might be useful. For ideas. –SH

Yeah. That could help. –JW

I’d be interested in reading them anyway. –JW

I’ll dig them out. –SH

Are you heading back? –SH

Might as well. Kelly’s already left. –JW

She really was only dating you because you’re a doctor. –SH

Yeah. I know. –JW

It was just nice to date again. While it lasted. –JW

You deserve someone who actually likes you. –SH

That’s kind of nice, Sherlock. Thank you. –JW

Should I bring back dinner? –JW

Didn’t you just eat? –SH

Hadn’t been served yet. –JW

Chinese? –SH

Chinese and case files. Not a bad way to spend the evening. –JW

Not bad at all. –SH

Still bored? –JW

I won’t be. –SH

**\-----**

Why aren’t you answering your phone? –JW

It was the husband, wasn’t it? Bastard. –JW

Sherlock, just text me back. –JW

This is ridiculous. Where are you? –JW

You had better be unconscious. –JW

Please just text to let me know you’re all right. –JW

If you’re not texting because you think I’m angry that you left me at the crime scene, I’m not. Just text me. –JW

If you went after this bastard without me I’m going to murder you myself. –JW

Please be okay. –JW

I’m fine. Mostly fine. Just a few scrapes and mild concussion, I think. –SH

Where are you? What happened? –JW

Baker Street. My phone battery ran out. –SH

How did you get concussion? –JW

Do you need to go to the hospital? –JW

I’m on my way. Don’t move! –JW

Hadn’t planned on it. –SH

No hospital. It’s minor. –SH

I didn’t go after him. Went after evidence. He found me. –SH

He got away, John. –SH

So did you. That’s a win. –JW

It’s a draw, at best. –SH

You’ll find him again. –JW

I should have known he’d come back to find the necklace. –SH

You should have waited for me. –JW

Yes. –SH

You admit it? –JW

Are you sure it’s just concussion? –JW

I’m sure. –SH

I’ll probably do it again. Can’t stop when my brain is moving. –SH

I know. Just try to remember to drag me along. Okay? –JW

I’ll try. –SH

Where are you? –SH

Taxi. On my way. You still okay? –JW

Yes. –SH

It was the husband, right? –JW

Yes. He killed her for money. –SH

Yup. Definitely a bastard. –JW

She loved him very much. –SH

I thought so, too. That house. She really wanted him to be happy. –JW

How can two people feel such disparate things for one another? –SH

How could she love him that much and he feel so little for her? –SH

It doesn’t make sense. –SH

Sometimes life is like that. Just because you love someone, doesn’t mean they’ll automatically feel the same. –JW

Yes. It’s horrible. –SH

Maybe now you’ll be nicer to Molly. –JW

Molly? –SH

She has a huge crush on you. You have to know that. –JW

Not the same thing, John. Molly is infatuated with the idea of me. –SH

Maybe, but it wouldn’t kill you to be less rude. –JW

It might. –SH

It wouldn’t. Trust me. I’m a doctor, I know these things. –JW

I don’t want to encourage her. –SH

She doesn’t need encouragement, Sherlock. She knows it’s not going anywhere. That’s not the point. –JW

If she knows I’m not interested, why does she persist? –SH

It’s not that easy. Sometimes you feel something, even if you know you shouldn’t. –JW

Even if you know it’s hopeless. You just keep feeling it. –JW

Ah. Yes. I shall endeavor to be less rude to her. –SH

How are you feeling? –JW

What do you mean? –SH

The concussion? The scrapes? –JW

I’m still fine. They really are minor. –SH

I’m almost there anyway. –JW

**\-----**

Mycroft thinks you’re depressed. –JW

Is he plotting behind my back again? –SH

Tell him to mind his own business. –SH

He could be right this time. You’ve been different lately. –JW

Nonsense. –SH

You’re more than averagely quiet. –JW

I told you at the start that I sometimes don’t talk for days. –SH

Yeah. You said that, and then proceeded to talk quite a lot. –JW

Disappointed were you? –SH

Come off it, Sherlock. You know that’s not what I’m saying. –JW

And you haven’t taken a case in two weeks. –JW

They’re all boring. –SH

That one the other day wasn’t. –JW

The fraud case? Dull. –SH

I thought it sounded interesting. –JW

You’re not the consulting detective. –SH

No. I’m not. –JW

I’m just worried about you. –JW

I don’t need your concern. –SH

Right. Of course. What was I thinking? –JW

Bring patches. –SH

Right. –JW

**\-----**

I’ve been talking to you for an hour. When did you leave? –SH

An hour ago. I told you I was going out with Mike. –JW

In your absence we agreed that I really should have both drawers in the fridge. –SH

Do you just make up my side of these conversations? –JW

No. I assume you’re intelligent enough to agree with me. –SH

You are a master of the backhanded compliment. –JW

Mike thinks you’re hilarious. –JW

In what way? –SH

Because you always text me when I’m out with him, but you claim to never realize that I’ve left. –JW

I realize. Eventually. –SH

Why would I text you if you were here? –SH

What? –JW

He said that I always text you when you’re out. Of course I do, you’re not here. –SH

How else am I meant to communicate with you? –SH

Yeah, but he says that every time we go out, I wind up texting with you. –JW

My point remains. –SH

It’s the frequency. He doesn’t end up texting with his wife whenever we’re out. –JW

Not that we’re a married couple, obviously –JW

Just that he has other friends and things and he doesn’t always wind up texting with them. –JW

Any of them. –JW

I just meant that we text a lot. –JW

You're babbling in texts. Impressive. –SH

Yeah. Yeah. –JW

I really should have both drawers in the fridge. –SH

We’ll talk about it tomorrow. –JW

I don’t see why I should repeat myself. –SH

Because you somehow failed to notice I wasn’t actually there for the discussion. –JW

It’s hardly my fault you missed it. You’re the one who decided to go out. –SH

Right. I should spend all my time with you. –JW

Preferably. –SH

If you’re going to make me repeat myself otherwise. –SH

Are you going to keep texting me all night? –JW

Would you like me to stop? –SH

No. Just wondering. –JW

Oh. Good. –SH

Where is the mallet? –SH

Never mind. I found it. –SH

I think I put a dent in the fridge. –SH

It’s not that big. –SH

Mrs. Hudson probably won’t even notice. –SH

I don’t want to have to rush back because you’ve broken your fingers. –JW

I’m not an idiot, John. –SH

Yes, you are. A brilliant idiot. Sometimes. –JW

You think you see everything, but you don’t. –JW

What aren’t I seeing? –SH

I don’t know. Things. –JW

I should probably stop drinking now. –JW

Is that Mike’s sage advice? –SH

Don’t know. He’s too drunk to tell if I’m dunk. –JW

Drunk. Yup. I’m getting there. –JW

I’ve never seen you drunk. –SH

You never come out with me. –JW

You never invite me. –SH

If I did, would you come? –JW

Out with me. –JW

Yes. –SH

As long as you kept me from getting bored. –SH

Not an easy trask. –JW

Task. Sorry. –JW

You seem to manage. –SH

John? –SH

Spilled a pony on Mike. Hee. –JW

A pony? –SH

A pint. Sorry. Drunkk. –JW

Wish you were home. –JW

I am home. –SH

Meant here. Or there. –JW

That I was there. Not here. –JW

So come home. –SH

Am. –JW

**\-----**

This is the most badly organized conference I've ever seen. –JW

I don’t even know anyone here. –JW

You’re always saying you like meeting new people. –SH

A clever lie to get you to see clients. –JW

Is it? –SH

No. I do like meeting people, but I don’t want to be here. –JW

Why did you go? –SH

Needed to get away. Thought I did. –JW

London getting dull? –SH

Never. But sometimes dull is good, so I came here. –JW

How is dull ever good? –SH

Just is. Sometimes. –JW

What are you doing? –JW

On a case. –SH

Oh. Should I stop texting? –JW

No. Waiting on soil test results. Dull. Not good. –SH

What’s the case? –JW

Missing person. A man disappeared from his home. –SH

Apparently right out from under his family’s noses. –SH

Maybe he just left? –JW

Broken leg, a few broken ribs, neck injury. Unlikely he left by himself. –SH

What happened to him? –JW

Smugglers assaulted him. He owns a shipping yard. –SH

Witness against them? –JW

Supposed to testify tomorrow. –SH

So they snatched him? –JW

I don’t think so. –SH

Then who did? –JW

The family could be hiding him. –SH

Why would they do that? –JW

Could threaten him with prosecution. He wasn’t clean to begin with. –SH

Right. So the family worries that the smugglers will hurt him if he testifies, but he can’t just refuse. –JW

They hide him away, say he was kidnapped, and he stays safe from everyone. –JW

Well reasoned. –SH

But that’s not your only idea. –JW

Of course not. I can’t prove it yet. –SH

But soil will help? –JW

There was some on the door frame. Low down. Someone scraped their shoe. –SH

The ‘kidnapper?’ –JW

Possible. –SH

And once you have the results you’ll know where the person has been? –JW

Exactly. –SH

What are you doing? –SH

Sitting in my hotel room wishing I was there to help. –JW

Not that you need me. Sounds like you’ve got it covered. Would just be more interesting. –JW

I always need you. –SH

You help me think. –SH

Talking to you helps me to think. –SH

I’m flattered. –JW

Did that seem sarcastic? I actually meant it. –JW

Good. You should be. –SH

Of course. :-D –JW

John, you know I hate those things. –SH

Too bad. Sometimes they’re appropriate. –JW

Fine. If you must. –SH

Soil results back. –SH

What do they say? –JW

Herman Mason was not kidnapped by family. –SH

Wow. Pretty articulate soil samples. –JW

Sherlock? –JW

Explaining to Lestrade. –SH

Oh. I’ll stop texting. –JW

No need. We’re on our way to rescue Herman Mason. –SH

From smugglers? –JW

No. Ex-wife. –SH

Seriously? –JW

Thought we’d never suspect, given everything else. –SH

Out of spite? –JW

Love. He’s trying to get sole custody of their daughter. –SH

But he’s making dirty deals. No way will he get custody. –JW

Mother’s an alcoholic. –SH

Oh. –JW

Wait until you’re back in London before you call your sister. –SH

Why would you think I was going to call Harry? –JW

She’s the first person you think of when alcoholism comes up. –SH

You feel guilty about not talking to her more, so you force yourself to call when you think of her. –SH

Yeah. Why put it off, though? Best to get it over with. –JW

She’s going to upset you. I can’t do anything if you’re away. –SH

Oh. –JW

Thanks. :-) –JW

You’re my friend, John. –SH

Yeah. You too. –JW

Have to go. She’s going to run. –SH

Be careful! –JW

**\-----**

When are you getting home? –SH

Few hours. Why? –JW

Bored. –SH

Flat’s very quiet. –SH

Play your violin. –JW

Already have. Not the same. –SH

Same as what? –JW

Nothing. –SH

Same as what? –JW

As there being someone else here. –SH

Oh. You’re lonely? –JW

Of course not. –SH

Right. What was I thinking? –JW

I suspect you weren’t. –SH

Right. ‘Lonely’ isn’t at all the same as wishing you weren’t alone. –JW

Sarcasm doesn’t suit you. –SH

Afraid I’m better at it than you? –JW

Ridiculous. –SH

Where’s Mrs. Hudson? –JW

Her sister’s ill. Not serious. –SH

Ah. You could call Mycroft. He could come over and be superior at you. –JW

I’d rather die of boredom. –SH

Do you just use ‘boredom’ to stand in for whatever emotion you don’t want to admit to at the time? –JW

I don’t think so. –SH

Wait. You’re actually considering it? –JW

No. Of course not. –SH

You were, weren’t you? –JW

I mean, you tell people you’re a sociopath, but we both know that’s bollocks. –JW

Why is that ‘bollocks?’ –SH

Because you don’t fit the diagnostic criteria for antisocial personality disorder. –JW

And that’s as close to ‘sociopathy’ as you can get these days. –JW

I don’t feel the things other people do. Everyone else accepts it. –SH

‘Everyone else’ has never lived with you. –JW

Mycroft has. Long ago. –SH

Does Mycroft really believe that? –JW

Sometimes. Other times I’m not sure. –SH

So the people closest to you doubt it? That should tell you something. –JW

That you both see what you want to see? –SH

John? –SH

No. That’s not it, Sherlock. –JW

Sometimes I do see what I want to see. But that’s not it. –JW

You can’t fake all the time. –JW

I can, actually. Quite well. –SH

No. I’ve seen you sham it. And it’s not the same. Not at all. –JW

How? –SH

Like a few weeks ago. When you woke me up playing your violin. –JW

You were completely elsewhere. I could have put another hole in the wall and you wouldn’t have noticed. –JW

I was absorbed in a task. –SH

No. I’ve seen that, too. This was different. –JW

You were sad. Every part of you moved with the music. Like it was coming from inside. –JW

You can’t play with that much emotion if you’ve never felt the emotion. –JW

Like trying to stitch someone back together if you didn't know how they were made to start with. -JW

If you didn’t know what it was to be sad like that, you couldn’t have made me sad just listening to it. –JW

Besides, you didn’t even know I was there for most of it. Who would you have been shamming for? –JW

Perhaps myself. –SH

You were shamming yourself? –JW

Perhaps. Maybe it would be interesting to know how that feels. –SH

See, now you’re shamming yourself. –JW

You’re trying to tell yourself you didn’t feel it. Just thought it. –JW

How does one know the difference? –SH

I can think ‘it would be nice to have John here,’ but that doesn’t mean I feel lonely. –SH

Yeah. It does actually. –JW

I’m coming home early. There aren’t any patients anyway. –JW

Bring patches. –SH

**\-----**

Look, Sherlock, I’m sorry. It just kind of happened. –JW

It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t *have* to mean anything. –JW

If you need space, I understand, but promise we’ll talk about this. –JW

It doesn’t look like you even came home last night. –JW

Could you just reply to let me know you’re all right? –JW

It’s been a whole day, Sherlock. –JW

You kissed me. –SH

Yeah. I’m sorry. It just happened. It won’t happen again. –JW

It won’t? –SH

I promise. –JW

What if I want it to? –SH

What? –JW

Do you want it to? –JW

Sherlock? –JW

You can’t just say something like that and then stop replying. –JW

I may. –SH

May what? –JW 

May want it to happen again? –JW

Yes. –SH

I think of it sometimes. –SH

Oh. -JW

I do, too. Think of it. –JW

Why did you kiss me? –SH

Because you’re brilliant and mad and you. –JW

That doesn’t tell me anything. –SH

I wanted to. I should have stopped myself, like I usually do. I didn’t. –JW

Usually? –SH

It’s hardly the first time I’ve wanted to kiss you. –JW

Really? –SH

Really. –JW

It wasn’t the first time I wanted you to. –SH

You wanted me to kiss you? –JW

Yes. –SH

Then why did you run? –JW

I don’t do this, John. Not ever. –SH

That’s because you never wanted to, right? –JW

Yes. –SH

Do you want to now? –JW

Yes. –SH

No. –SH

I don’t know. –SH

Either way is fine. –JW

Honestly. –JW

No it isn’t. You can’t put something like this back in the box. –SH

I can. I will. If you need me to. –JW

The most important thing is that we stay friends. –JW

It’s too confusing. Can we delete it? –SH

Never happened. –JW

**\-----**

Lestrade is getting suspicious. Hurry up. –JW

I just need a few more minutes. –SH

He’s going to find you in there if you don’t get out. –JW

I think I’ve found something. Receipts. –SH

He’s coming in. –JW

Sherlock? –JW

I’m out. –SH

You cut it close. –JW

You’re going to get arrested one of these days. –JW

Won’t be the first time. –SH

You’re going to get *me* arrested one of these days. –JW

Won’t be your first either. –SH

Yeah. That ASBO was your fault. –JW

Really, John, anybody else would have run. –SH

I’m not used to needing to run from the police. –JW

A fair point. You’ll know better next time. –SH

Don’t even joke. –JW

Who’s joking? –SH

Meet me at Angelo’s. –SH

You’re not getting into anything between here and there are you? –JW

I don’t know what you mean. –SH

No investigating without me. –JW

No, I’m not ‘getting into anything.’ –SH

I just have to stop by Bart’s. –SH

Why? –JW

Because Molly texted me about the body. Something about a missing tattoo. –SH

I should meet you there instead. –JW

Molly isn’t going to harm me. She may gush at me, but I’ll survive. –SH

I know you. You’ll learn something interesting and then go running off. –JW

I’ll meet you at Bart’s. –JW

Please yourself. –SH

You always do. –JW

I mean, you always do whatever you want. –JW

I know. I didn’t assume you were making a double entendre. –SH

Do you? –JW

Do I what? –SH

Nothing. –JW

Are you asking me if I masturbate? –SH

No. I’m really not. –JW

Yes, you did. –SH

Shouldn’t have. It’s none of my business. –JW

I hadn’t in a long while. –SH

You hadn’t? –JW

No. Not since uni. –SH

Since uni? How did you manage that? –JW

Not everyone is as sex-crazed as you. –SH

I didn’t mean it like that, Sherlock. –JW

I just meant that’s a long time. –JW

Wait. You ‘hadn’t’? –JW

No. I hadn’t. –SH

So now you do? –JW

You know what? Don’t answer that. –JW

Why not? –SH

Not something I need to be thinking about. –JW

Asking about. –JW

So what kind of tattoo is the body missing? –JW

Subtle. –SH

We needed a new topic. –JW

It was apparently a lightning bolt on his wrist. Molly thinks the damage to the body may have been intentional. –SH

So, someone was trying to hide the victim’s identity? –JW

And they thought a small tattoo would do more to identify him than his wallet and ID? –SH

Maybe it’s a group thing and they don’t want us to make the connection back to the group. –JW

Much more likely. I’ll have to get a look at it. It could be coincidence. –SH

Okay, but then we go to Angelo’s. –JW

You could go yourself and get something to eat. –SH

Nope. No investigating without me. –JW

Besides, if we solve this thing before we get to Angelo’s, you’ll eat. –JW

I ate yesterday. –SH

And I’d like you to eat today, too. –JW

More than once, if you can manage it. –JW

Doubtful. –SH

That you’ll eat today, or just the more than once part? –JW

The more than once. I think I know who killed our victim. –SH

Get here quickly or I’m going alone. –SH

I’m at the front doors. –JW

**\-----**

Bored. Send patches. -SH

Little busy. -JW

What's this one's name? -SH

Not a date. Harry. -JW

Is she sober? -SH

Very much not. -JW

You haven't been on a date in a while. -SH

Not really the time to discuss this. -JW

Distracts you from your sister. -SH

Yeah. Later though, okay? -JW

Is she all right? -SH

Off again with Clara. -JW

I'm surprised you asked. -JW

Trying to determine how many nights worth of bad movies this is going to take. -SH

You don't have to watch with me. -JW

Yes, I do. -SH

Indian, Italian, or Chinese? -SH

I'm probably going to be a couple hours. -JW

Text me when you're on your way home and I'll order then. -SH

On my way. Italian, I think. -JW

I'll call Angelo. -SH

Angelo's doesn't deliver. -JW

They will for me. -SH

Well, aren't you important. -JW

Yes. So are you. -SH

Thanks. That was nice to hear. -JW

You shouldn't let her make you feel guilty. -SH

Yeah. -JW

Do you need patches? -JW

Yes! -SH

I'll pick them up. -JW

**\-----**

That man was flirting with you. –SH

Yes. Yes he was. –JW

So you did notice? –SH

Would have been kind of hard not to. –JW

He slipped me his number when he shook my hand. –JW

And he also grabbed my arse. –JW

I didn’t see him do that. –SH

You were interrogating the bartender at the time. –JW

How long is it going to take you to get out here? It’s cold. –JW

Few more minutes. I need to see who she talks to now. –SH

You could just go home. –SH

No. I don’t want to leave you on your own. –JW

Or perhaps you’d like to speak to Robert again. –SH

Why would I want to do that? –JW

He was fit. You like to date. –SH

It’s been a while. You must miss it. –SH

I don’t date men, Sherlock. –JW

Hmm. I wonder where I could have got that impression? –SH

There’s only one exception. And we’re not discussing it, remember? –JW

Yes. –SH

But how do you know there’s only one exception? –SH

If there was one, there could be another. –SH

There could be a hundred others. –SH

No. There really couldn’t. –JW

How do you know that? –SH

Because there’s only one Sherlock Holmes. –JW

Can we talk about something else? –JW

She’s on the move. –SH

Great. It really is freezing out here. –JW

She’s talking to the owner first. It must be him. –SH

We’ll have to check his house. –SH

Do you know where he lives? –JW

I will shortly. –SH

What are you doing? –JW

Just asking some questions. –SH

All right. Make it quick. –JW

He lives above the club. –SH

Right. Should I sneak back in? –JW

No. I’ll come out. Wouldn’t want to run into Robert again. –SH

Whatever. How are we getting in? –JW

There’s a back entrance. –SH

Meet me by the bins. –SH

**\-----**

It’s three in the morning. Where did you go? –JW

Out. Walking. –SH

You could have said something. I just got out of the shower and you were gone. –JW

Needed to think. –SH

And you can’t do that inside your nice warm flat? –JW

Seriously, you haven’t slept in two days. –JW

Normally, you pass out once the case is over. –JW

Too much in my brain. –SH

The case still? –JW

No. It’s finished. –SH

What then? –JW

Maybe I can help. –JW

It’s your fault to start with! –SH

What? –JW

I can’t delete it. I can’t stop thinking about it. –SH

Christ. The kiss? –JW

What else? –SH

Yeah. I worried we weren’t ignoring it very well. –JW

It’s all in your court, Sherlock. I just don’t want to ruin our friendship. –JW

I know. I don’t want that either. –SH

Good. So we won’t, right? –JW

Right. –SH

I think about you too much. –SH

What do you mean? –JW

I don’t want to jump to conclusions. –JW

Admirable. –SH

So what did you mean? –JW

You're in my head all the time! -SH

Your mouth, your eyes, your *hands*. I can't *think* for the body parts piling up! -SH

And I'm *nothing* if I can't think, John. Nothing. -SH

I know me telling you that that isn't true won't help, but it still isn't true. -JW

So say something that will help. -SH

I don't know what to say. -JW

It sounds like you're saying that you're attracted to me, but it's a bad thing. -JW

Of course I'm attracted to you. We've covered that. Do keep up. -SH

Is that what 'maybe I'd like to kiss you again, but maybe I wouldn't' means in Sherlockian? -JW

Sorry. I just don't know what you want me to say. -JW

You know I'm attracted to you, but you didn't want to do anything about it. -JW

Which is fine. Totally fine. But I can't make you not attracted to me. -JW

Do you want me to move out? -JW

No. The only thing worse than having you there would be not having you there. -SH

I have no idea how to feel about that. -JW

Nor do I. -SH

I know this is a bit new for you, but it sounds to me like you've got to make a decision. -JW

I can't. -SH

Okay. Come home. Be indecisive where it's warm. -JW

I will. Soon. I just need to walk a little more. -SH

Don't do anything stupid. -JW

Please. -JW

**\-----**

Doing better? -JW

Yes. I shouldn't have texted you last night. -SH

No, you definitely should have. I'm your friend, even when things are complicated. -JW

Yes. Complicated. -SH

Mycroft gave me a ride to the surgery this morning. -JW

What did he say? -SH

John? What did he say? -SH

John? -SH

Sorry. Patient. -JW

He's worried about you. Wants me to tell him what's going on. -JW

What did you tell him? -SH

That you were dealing. -JW

I am not. I'm clean. And I'm certainly not selling anything. -SH

I swear, John. I'm clean. -SH

No. I mean that you're handling things. -JW

I am glad to hear it, though. -JW

Oh. Of course. -SH

He's got a case for you. -JW

I'm sure I'm not interested. -SH

It's in Paris. A missing painting. Something famous, I think. -JW

Really? I hadn't heard about anything. -SH

I think they're keeping it quiet. It seemed complicated. -JW

It would be a couple of days away from London. -JW

You mean away from you. -SH

Do you want me out of London? -SH

Sherlock, I barely want you out of my sight. -JW

When you're on a case. -JW

But it might help. -JW

Is that what Mycroft thinks? -SH

Who the hell knows what Mycroft thinks? -JW

I was worried about you last night. -JW

And you'll be less worried about me if I'm in Paris? -SH

No. Of course not. -JW

So why are you endorsing this course of action? -SH

It might give you some perspective. Might help you figure things out. -JW

I just want you to be okay. -JW

I am. Really. -SH

All right. Don't take the case. We'll entertain ourselves. -JW

Sherlock? -JW

I think I might take the case. -SH

All right. Call Mycroft. -JW

I called. I'm leaving tonight. -SH

Tonight? -JW

Probably before you get back. -SH

Oh. Okay. Have a good trip. -JW

Doubtful. -SH

**\-----**

Trains are boring. -SH

Children are loud. -SH

People never realize how much of themselves they make plain. -SH

What are you doing? -SH

Must be at least minimally interesting. -SH

Otherwise you would have texted me back. -SH

I was sleeping, Sherlock. It's late. -JW

Boring. -SH

Yeah, pretty much. I was still enjoying it. -JW

Isn't the point of this trip for you to get away for a few days? -JW

The point is for me to solve a case and get back to London. -SH

Okay. –JW

Mrs. Hudson noticed the dent in the fridge. -JW

It isn't that bad. -SH

She made disappointed sounds at me for a good five minutes. -JW

I told her we'd try to get it out when you came back. -JW

I wasn't there for that decision. -SH

Yeah. I figured you'd be intelligent enough to just agree with me. -JW

That made me smile. -SH

Good. Glad I can still do that. -JW

Never stopped. -SH

I think the man four seats ahead of me is hiding something. -SH

Affair maybe? -JW

Could be, but unlikely. -SH

Why do you say that? -JW

No ring. No signs of one. Guilty, but not emotionally invested. -SH

Scared, too. Too much so for a simple affair. -SH

Keep an eye on him. -JW

Of course. -SH

I guess I can't say 'no investigating without me.' -JW

It would be counterproductive. -SH

John? -SH

Sorry. Dozed a little. Back now. -JW

Go back to sleep, John. -SH

You sure? Don't want you to be bored. -JW

Go back to sleep. -SH

Okay. –JW

Night Sherlock. -JW

Good night. -SH

**\-----**

You must be in Paris by now. -JW

How's the case going? -JW

Text me when you can. -JW

I'll leave you alone to work your case. -JW

Case was clearly a ruse to get me out of London. -SH

There's no case? -JW

Oh, there was, but I solved it this morning. -SH

Maybe Mycroft thought it would take longer. -JW

Do you really believe that, John? -SH

Not really, no. -JW

Are you coming home then? -JW

Room is booked for two days. -SH

Oh. Then you should take advantage of it. -JW

Clean out the mini-bar for me. -JW

Already started on it. -SH

Even the beer? -JW

Started with it. -SH

Then the Scotch to get the taste out of my mouth. -SH

Pace yourself. -JW

Will need it. -SH

Why? -JW

Want to talk to you. -SH

Call me. -JW

No. Texting is easier. -SH

Not if you're blind drunk. -JW

Won't drink that much. -SH

Okay. Talk to me. -JW

Need to drink more first. -SH

Oh. -JW

Should I be drinking? -JW

Maybe. I don't know. -SH

Better than you being sure, I suppose. -JW

Why don't you know? -JW

Because I don't know what I'm going to say. -SH

But I'll be honest if I'm drunk. -SH

It's one of the reasons I don't usually get drunk. -SH

Oh. -JW

All right. I've got a glass of whisky and a bottle on standby. -JW

Good, because I'm getting there. -SH

Finish the Scotch? - JW

Not quite, but I might not need to. -SH

Feeling it. -SH

And you still type perfectly? -JW

Drilled into my brain. -SH

I'd have to be a lot drunker than his. -SH

Okay. :-) -JW

Are you realy smiling? -SH

I am. -JW

Like your smile. -SH

And I like yours. -JW

Do you? -SH

I do. I'd like to see it more. -JW

I didn't want to come to Paris. -SH

What do you want, Sherlock? -JW

Home. -SH

With you. -SH

Boring shoping trips and blackbery jam. -SH

Watch imbcilic movies and read old case files. -SH

Slove cases and wake you up with my viloin. -SH

I like all of that, too. -JW

Want to touch you. -SH

Kiss you. Feel you. -SH

Oh. I want that, too. A lot. -JW

But not more than I want to have you in my life. –JW

But will you always? -SH

Always? -JW

I'm exceptional. Exceptons prove rules. -SH

I don't understand. -JW

You'll want normal somday, wont you? YOur normal. -SH

A wman. I'm not a woman. -SH

I had noticed. -JW

You think that because I don't generally want men, I'll eventually not want you? -JW

I can't do that, JOhn. Can't start and stp. Not with you. -SH

Sherlock, I have never wanted *anyone* the way I want you. -JW

Any portion of you that I can have, I will take. -JW

Friend, flatmate, lover, partner. Any of it. All of it, if you'll let me. -JW

Sherlock? -JW

Sherlock? -JW

You passed out, didn't you? -JW

Fuck. -JW

**\-----**

Delete last night. -SH

What? -JW

Please. -SH

Sherlock, I don't know that I can. -JW

Not the sentiment, John. Just the texts. My spelling was horrible. -SH

Git. -JW

I made a fool of myself. -SH

Oh? I'm the one who spilled his guts. -JW

You were wonderful. And coherent. -SH

I was less so. -SH

I didn't mind. -JW

I do. Delete it, please. -SH

No. -JW

Why not? -SH

Because I want it. You were honest. I want to keep it. -JW

If I'm honest now, will you keep this instead? –SH

Depends on what you say. –JW

And if you only want me when you're drunk. –JW

That's very much not the case. –SH

You know you were wrong, don't you? –JW

About? –SH

My eventually deciding you were just a phase or something. –JW

Deciding that I'd rather have a nice woman. –JW

*You* don't even know that, John. You can't know what you'll want tomorrow. –SH

But I have realized that it's irrelevant. –SH

Irrelevant? –JW

It doesn't matter. –SH

I know what irrelevant means. Why is it irrelevant? –JW

It's already too late. If you met and married a 'nice woman' tomorrow, it would already be not good. –SH

That's not going to happen. –JW

Good, because I'm coming home and I'd hate to arrive just in time for your wedding. –SH

No wedding. Come home. –JW

I think there are a few other things we still need to talk about. –JW

The kissing part? –SH

As a start. –JW

Do we have to talk about it? Can't we just do it? –SH

Oh, God, yes. –JW

Good. I can't be any worse at it than I am at the talking. –SH


End file.
